“I ventured into the darkness to face my shadow, and in that shadow, I saw a glimpse into the depths of my soul” – Waleuska Lazo
I have always been a seeker. I am captivated by everything that is not palpable to the human world. I first heard of Ayahuasca through reading a book about the fascinating world of the Inca civilization. I’m drawn to old cultures more than our current everyday living. I was intrigued by the Incas’ use of this sacred healing plant to reach the spirit world. The Incas used Ayahuasca to obtain healing, insights, and guidance for their daily lives.
I spent almost two years researching topics on Ayahuasca. I watched every documentary I could find on YouTube, and the more I learned, the more fascinated I became. But the more attracted, the more fearful I also became. I had never used any recreational stimulants to hallucinate, so the thought of taking a psychedelic was out of my comfort zone. I do not like the feeling of losing or relinquishing control. Yet, I could not stop thinking about Ayahuasca.
“Destiny chooses us. We do not choose destiny”. –Waleuska
Years later, I learned through my Shaman (medicine man), that Ayahuasca chooses you long before you decide to take part in the experience. This explains perhaps why, in spite of my fears, something stronger than myself kept pulling me to it. It took me a long time to finally gather enough courage to do it. I could not disease of the idea. I just knew it was something I had to face. But the reason why was unknown to me. I just felt a calling to the jungle.
If you haven’t heard of Ayahuasca, I will give you a short background. Ayahuasca is a healing plant found in the Amazonian jungle. The name Ayahuasca means ‘vine of the soul.’ The Incas mixed Ayahuasca with another plant called ‘Chacruna’ which contains high levels of DMT and together with it, they make a brew. A powerful and magical brew the Incas have been drinking for thousands of years to alter their state of consciousness. Through these healing plants, you can open a gateway to the spirit world to see visions that are unique to you. Every session is different.
The plant chooses what it is that YOU NEED TO SEE AND HEAL depending on where you are in your emotional life. The effects can last from 4 to 8 hours depending on the quantity you take.
The worse part for me was its tart taste and sandy texture which causes vomiting or in some cases diarrhea. The purging is an essential aspect of the process. It is how the plant first begins to cleanse you from negative energy. Ayahuasca has become increasingly popular in the western world due to its ability to heal addictions, depressions, and many other traumas. People travel to the jungle each year from all over the world in search for its healing powers.
Why was I going?
The actual reason my soul was pulled to Ayahuasca I cannot explain beyond this. I just knew it was something I had to experience. However, I did hope, since I was going, that the plant could help me heal from a physical condition I had been battling for a few years without a cure. I had seen a few of the top specialist in Canada and even Nicaragua without any success. I began to understand this was perhaps an energetic and spiritual blockage I was having, and my body was manifesting it with a chronic irritation that would not go away.
I sought Ayahuasca’s help to heal the emotional as a channel to heal the physical.
I researched every company in Peru offering Ayahuasca retreats. Most places offered rustic experiences: no electricity, shared shower facilities, and many did not have real toilets. Many places offering the Ayahuasca treatment use the river and open jungle to do your daily thing if you know what I mean. This was not going to work for me.
Not having a ‘real’ toilet was a non-starter for me. And this became the deciding factor as to where I was going to go. I had no idea how I was going to react to the plant so imagine having diarrhea and not having a private space? No way!
I finally found a place that met my criteria. The Way Inn Healing Center. A retreat located in the Northern part in Huaraz in the Peruvian Andes. The Way Inn Healing Center looked picturesque, and wow, they had electricity, hot water, and my very own room with toilet and shower. I was in!
I called and paid my deposit. I was excited. The same day I had paid my deposit, I was in my car, driving to pick up my daughters when I decided to click on a podcast on YouTube called, Metamorphosis – Ayahuasca Documentary and I was fascinated by the documentary. I did some digging and found the location was in Iquitos and the company was called Blue Morpho. I immediately did some research on the company, and I liked what I saw.
Call it what you want, but I call it divine guidance. I believe in signs, and I have always felt the hand of God pushing me along. An internal voice told me that I needed to go to the jungle instead. It was as if the spirit of the plant had begun to communicate with me. My intuition told me that I needed to be right where the plant was grown. The closer I was to the plant the closer I would be to the spirits.
The Way Inn, although looked amazing, was in the mountains and they do not grow the plant. Ayahuasca only grows in the Amazonian basin. They also did not prepare their Ayahuasca brew, and instead, had it pre- made. I wanted to be part of the process of making my brew. I felt it was essential for me to be as close to the plant as possible.
I called Blue Morpho, and like divine guidance, they also had electricity, my private room, shower and wow, my very OWN toilet! “Could this be more of a clear sign”? I asked myself; I was totally in. I paid another deposit. I booked my flight, and I was set to go.
My friends and family were all anxious about my decision. My family felt it was crazy and dangerous to go. Many people were scared due to the media stories of tourist dying after drinking Ayahuasca.
Nothing stopped me. I followed my heart and the divine guidance I was given. I did my two-week diet preparation for Ayahuasca which consisted of nothing fried, no red meat, no pork, sugar, salt, fats, alcohol and no recreational drugs. Oh, I almost forgot, and no sex for two weeks.
No problem, I was set to go!
I flew from Toronto to Lima and from Lima to Iquitos. Wow, I was transported to a different world. It was exciting. The town was crowded and poor. Its economy revolves around the industry of Ayahuasca. There were even restaurants that were Ayahuasca-diet-specific. The streets are full of ‘motocarros’ which are the most common way of transportation. A motorcar is a motorcycle with a small rickshaw-like passenger cabin in the back. There are hundreds of them. I do not even know how they drive. They just squeeze
themselves, as much as possible, in a single lane !scary.
I met the Blue Morpho team at 8 am in the hotel lobby the following morning. They welcomed and talked to us about what was to transpire. There were 40 of us from all over the world. I was scared, and I thought I was the only one feeling the anxiety. The more I talked to other seekers, the more I realized they were all just as scared, anxious and excited as I was.
Many in our group were season Ayahuasca veterans. Some had been there ten times; another person told me something crazy like 30 times and a good number of them had been to the retreat more than once. I even met a girl who had met her now husband during an Ayahuasca retreat. The couple did a few retreats together, fell in love and from that love came a beautiful daughter. The parents, in gratitude to Ayahuasca for bringing them together, named their baby girl Aya!
Kind of cool huh?
“Wow,” I said to my self. “If these people come so often, how bad can it be?”
We were soon transported by bus to the Amazonian river where we all boarded the boats. Here I was, traveling for two days by air and now going into the Peruvian jungle to heal my soul. The river boat was jumpy. The dark water and lush forest on each side were breathtaking. For the next two hours on the boat ride I kept thinking about Piranhas, and each time the boat would jump I thought about them even more. I was so relieved when the boat began to slow down and saw the big jungle lodge. The entire crew welcomed us: the Shamans, assistants and the various workers of the lodge who throughout our stay, made sure we had an unforgettable experience.
On my retreat, the two main Shamans were Malcolm Rossiter and Master Shaman Don Alberto Torres Davila, a 7th generation curandero who for many is considered one of the best healers in the Amazons.
When I was a little girl, I lived in the jungle on the Atlantic coast of Nicaragua. I was somewhat familiar with jungle life and the million insects that would accompany me each day. When the night falls, and everything seems still in the lodge, the jungle comes alive. I could hear every creature and reptilian sounds so vivid I thought they were right in my bedroom. Not a joke, some were literally in my bedroom. After a few screams and many waves of laughter, the locals would run to my rescue removing visiting tarantulas and flying cockroaches.
One more thing, if you take repellent with you, it won’t work. You can shower with it, and you still will come home with over 100 bites. Those little buggers are immune to it. At night, the only light you see is the perfect reflection of the moon in the lodge’s pool. You hear the sound of bats with their flapping wings and the lingering sweet smell of mapacho, the Shaman’s favorite sacred tobacco.
The days were very relaxing. We had daily discussions with our Shamans about the spirit world, our experiences after each ceremony and the healing aspects of these plants. We had daily yoga, meditation or excursions into the jungle to see the pink dolphins, giant lily pads, and encounters with monkeys and who can forget the sloths.
The days of ceremony we had breakfast and lunch only. We fasted from 1:30 pm onwards in preparation to drink the brew. I was told that it is best to have an empty stomach as it helps with vomiting less. Nice huh?
On the plus side, the food at the lodge was excellent. I am particular about my food, and each day I could not wait to eat again. Everything was fresh, including my favorite food, plantains, and cheese. I was in heaven.
At 6 am we all got up to help prepare our very own Ayahuasca brew. It was a nice experience for me to have a hand in cutting, cleaning and cooking Ayahuasca. The brew was to take almost all day to cook on low heat and would be ready to drink that night. My biggest worried? The vomiting – ‘the purging’ – I was not looking forward to that. But I psyched myself up into believing that vomiting was, in fact, a good thing and I should welcome it. It was the plant’s physical manifestation in me, helping dispelled all the negative energy I had in my body.
Did it work? “Nope.”
The ceremonial space took place in the maloca. A large rotunda hut conditioned with individual mattresses, and pillows on the floor. Each person chose its space for the rest of the week. You were given a blanket, a roll of toilet paper to wipe your mouth, a small cup of water to rinse and a bucket to throw up.
A few hours before the ceremony, I went to visit the maloca with a few others to get aquatinted with the space. A participant who was right next to me decided to take a picture of the space to post later on the website for our memories.
When we got back to the main dining room, we could not believe our eyes. The pictures on the camera showed spirits in the space. We were all terrified. If I had not been in the same space next to her I would not believe it. But I was there. There was nothing we could see at the time we took the picture. Through the lenses, there was nothing other than the obvious to see. The taken photos revealed what our untrained eyes could not see: the spirit world.
We rushed to show the pictures to Don Alberto, and I explained to him in Spanish what had taken place. He laughed. To him, this was not a surprise, but an everyday occurrence. He told us it was the spirits and energy of the plants.
Now if I was scared going into the trip I now was prettified. One thing is to be told you will be taken into the spirit world, but another was to see the spirits. This was real. There were actual spirits and energy in that space, and I was going to be in there!
Escaping did cross my mind! But I was in the middle of a jungle. It’s not like I could just go home. There were no boats available to take me back. I was certainly not going to swim either, remember the Piranhas? Well, there are thousands of them.
I began to talk to myself to self-regulate my anxiety, “you did not come 4,000 miles to be beaten by mosquitos, scared by tarantulas crawling out of your suitcase and visited by flying roaches at night to now turn back. Waleuska, get a grip. You are going to do it. You cannot go back and tell your girls you did not face your fears.”
The pet talk worked. I found my courage again!
At the beginning of the ceremony, you are told to have an intention or a question you want insight into. At the time, I was dating a man and I had hoped that by doing Ayahuasca together, we would find a way to grow and connect spiritually and put our differences aside. So at the moment of drinking, I had asked Ayahuasca if we were going to have a future together.
For this blog, I will combine the five ceremonies into one and relate to you as a whole the experience I had with my spirit plants.
At exactly 8 pm I found myself sitting on my mattress in the maloca. I made sure I selected the first row closest to the Shamans. If anything happened to me, I wanted to ensure they would see me. The Shamans and assistants sat at the front of the maloca on an elevated platform. They begin the night by saying a few blessings in Quechua, the Incas’ language which is a mixture of Spanish and who knows what else. I could only make out a few of the words in between, the Spanish ones of course. Don Alberto and Malcolm began to blow their tobacco inside these big bottles containing the Ayahuasca brew we all created. They whistled under their breath and began to invoke the spirits for blessings and safe passage for all of us.
The assistant Shamans were sitting at the altar and began to sing ‘icaros’. Icaros are unique songs used to call the plant spirits. Don Alberto and Malcolm began to pour the brew into each of our cups. We waited until we all had our cups filled in our hands and together, after a short prayer to the spirits, we drank in unison. We were told that we are all coming together as one energy. Believe me, you feel it.
There is something strange and magical happening in the room. You begin to sense that all our spirits are interlinked.
We drink, and wow, it hits you like a tornado. I mean, I do not know how even to begin to describe the taste. Think of the worse medicine you have ever taken and multiply it by 1,000, and maybe you can begin to understand. There is no other way to drink this thing other than to just chug it back as quick as you can before you change your mind. As it hits your throat and stomach, the uncontrollable reaction is to vomit everything out. But you can’t. You need to try hard to keep it in. Otherwise, you will have to drink again, and that was not happening.
Lights go off. Complete darkness is the best way to describe the space. Once you lie on your mattress the only light you see peeking through the windows is the moon and the cigar tips of lit mapacho the Shamans are smoking. Other than that, it is pure darkness. You can’t see anything or anybody, even though the person next to you is only three feet away.
I covered my eyes with an eye mask, lay down and hoped for the best. The effects of Ayahuasca can take anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes to come. However, some people within 5 to 10 minutes began to emit growling sounds from their stomachs, and a vomiting contest began to take place. It would be an understatement to say that I felt like I was in a mental hospital.
The more the Shamans sang the icaros, the more the purging seemed to intensify among the attendees. It was as if everyone was possessed. I was scared beyond description at this point. I kept my eyes closed so tight, even though I could see nothing. Grabbing to my blanket in a fetal position I prayed to Ayahuasca to be gentle with me. I was scared. I was shaking. I had a mixture of fear and respect for the plant. I came face to face with my fear. I had no escape. I was paralyzed, no movement at all. No way out, no turning back. I was there to face my shadow.
As time went by and the effects of the plant took possession of people’s bodies the wailing sounds coming out of people were like something evil was escaping them. Some would scream for help, others would cry, swear, others laughed uncontrollably, and others like me simply stayed paralyzed in fetal position overcome by fear. The assistant Shamans would take turns coming to us to perform healing songs over our heads and to blow tobacco on certain parts of our bodies to seal us from bad spirits. Surrender to our fear was the only option.
I could hear people crying. I could hear laughter. I could also hear the running of footsteps of the locals who were there to aid those whose effects were too strong. They would pour cold water over people’s heads, and some participants were taken into cold showers to alleviate the strong effects of the plant.
I felt nauseous, and my stomach made movement and sounds. But thankfully I never vomited. What I did do was yawn uncontrollably. Tears were pouring down. I did not know at the time, but later I learned that ‘purging’ does not only happen by vomit, but also by yawning, laughing or crying.
Unforeseen to me, Ayahuasca was extremely gentle to me. I did not know what to expect. I had read and seen so many documentaries with people’s experiences that I had no real idea what I would see. Some people see celestial beings, geometric signs, aliens, others see their death, and some even see demons and animals eating them.
Transcending the Fear
At the risk of sounding crazy, I will describe to the best of my ability my journey into the spirit world. I was lying at this point facing down. I must have dozed off without even knowing. Suddenly I felt a surge of electrical energy run through me. It was physical. I could feel my body vibrate and I had the sensation that animals were running through my back and arms. “Oh blankity-blank,” I said to myself, “what the hell”, I began to scream in my head. “Rats, rats oh my God rats are all over me.” I hate rats with a passion!
Honestly, that is what went through my mind. I was convinced that in the darkness in that floor mats rats were going all over me. As I am ready to stand and start screaming out loud this time, something calming came immediately over me, “Wait, its Ayahuasca!” I said to myself. The minute I realized there were no rats on top of me, but the brew taking effect I calmed down. I began to do my yoga breathing and tried as much as I could to let go. I invited Ayahuasca to enter and heal me.
In the visions, I became a tree trunk. I saw myself as a tree, and I was able to live inside each of the plants used in our brew. I went inside each plant and felt what was like to be one of them. Not sure what this meant at the time, but after a year of spiritual work I now understand that the first insight Ayahuasca was giving me was that we are all connected to nature. I am truly one with the universe and nature. I am them, and they are me.
I saw the inside of my body as a clock. Not sure if you have ever seen the inside of a clock with all the wheels, dials and mechanical things. Yes, that was my body. The plant showed me how it was cleaning every part of it. I saw and felt these tiny minions; I guess I could use that word, going through me and cleaning me. I understood immediately that the ‘minions’ were repairing my body.
At some point in my trance state, I saw what I understood to be Ayahuasca herself. I saw this celestial or alien being. At this point, I do not know how to label it, but I knew intuitively it was Ayahuasca. She was this long skinny fluid like being. She was translucent and wore a black gold robe, and she gave me the impression of being a queen. She looked at me with tenderness. I felt this maternal presence. I felt loved and protected. There was no fear. I can see why now, Ayahuasca is referred to in the feminine form. She moved her lips to talk to me, but no sound was emitting, yet, I understood her as if were linked by the same brain. I know this sounds crazy and strange for those of you who have never experienced the spirit world but believe me, it was real. Well, at least that is how it felt to me.
Ayahuasca told me I was complete. She told me I was loved. She told me there is no lacking in me and that I already possessed all the answers within me. My cheeks by this point were completely wet by my tears. She then asked me to follow her, and I felt as if I was floating in a dream-like-state going behind her.
The interesting part was that as I was transported to this plane of consciousness, I was no longer aware of the world around me. Everyone in that room disappeared. The crazy mad-house became still, and silence was all around me. I could hear nothing and no one. The Icaro songs had vanished into the air. I did not even have the sensation of being in the maloca anymore. I do not know where I was or if I even left.
Physically I was lying on the floor mattress, but I was elevated in the air. I was floating up in the ceiling of the maloca, and I could see everyone below me. Wow, what a strange feeling!. I flew higher to the point I was now outside the maloca, and the sky was covered in stars. I stood there in the middle of this immensity, being one with Ayahuasca and the universe.
As my journey with Ayahuasca continues, so did my visions. Ayahuasca gave me a glimpse of my life: past, present, and future, but they were all interrelated. One did not end for the other to start. It was as though we live all three tenses simultaneously.
I was transported to a very bright state of consciousness. It was neither bright like the sun, nor bright like electric light. It is a type of brightness I have never seen, so it is hard for me to put into words. The closest description I can think of is celestial. Ayahuasca showed me through the sense of ‘feel’ more than through a sense of ‘vision’ what my life was like.
Ayahuasca made me feel I was incredibly blessed and protected. I could feel in every fiber and cell of my body I was loved and cared for. No matter what would come my way, she made it clear; I was never going to be alone. Ayahuasca flashed in front of me the people that love me. Those who were my tribe. I saw my children and the love was immense. I even saw my staff, my pets and felt the love of my mother come through so strong.
A side note for those of you who did not read my blog: In the Midst of Loss, I Found Love, I had spent my whole childhood and adult life feeling that mother did not love me. She was clear in showing and making me feel through thousands of miles away, that my mother did love me and loved me powerfully and protectively. There was no question in my mind. Ayahuasca was releasing a heavy burden I had carried with me for a long time.
I then saw my family and their love for me. I saw my ex-husband, Jeffrey as my protector. Again it is hard for me to describe to you how I knew what each person represented or gave me, but at the moment of the vision, there was no question. I knew intuitively that Jeffrey was there to protect me always. Ayahuasca showed me living in a home that was full of love and laughter. I was surrounded by the familiar faces of my closest girlfriends, my sisters since I never had any of my own. I was shown I was never alone nor ever to fear loneliness as that was never going to be the emotion governing my soul.
I was then transported to a green field. Wow, it was infinite, all green pastures and I could not see where the pastures began or ended. In the middle of the field was this little girl with a head full of tight curls. It was my older daughter Victoria. The strange thing is that I could see every hair particle in her chubby arms and I could even see all of her skin cells.
Then the strangest things happened – I went through Victoria’s eyes. I looked into my daughter’s eyes, and my spirit went through them. I was inside Victoria’s soul, and when I came through on the other end, she was the gorgeous slender young woman she has become. I saw her long legs with short blue jean and her thick hair blowing in the wind. I remember saying out loud,
“Wow, you are so beautiful.”
Not sure why, even to this day, but I was fixated on her long silky hair. I remember admiring Victoria’s long legs and the feeling of pride I felt for her. The feeling of gratitude and pride was suffocating. I began to sob so hard I could not breathe. Suddenly, I was not in the green pastures anymore. I felt someone tugging at my leg, and when I looked down, it was my daughter, Emma, as a baby, with her bald blond head with thin hairs. Emma was wearing a diaper and smiling at me to pick her up. Emma’s eyes were so deep like the blue sea. I do not know how long this vision lasted, but all I felt was love.
Ayahuasca showed me I have always been blessed and loved at all points in my life. She showed me that love was the only emotion that governed my life and there was nothing else I needed to see or want.
I am not sure how I got back to my body or whether I ever left. All I know is that I was awaken by the candles that were relit and the Shaman announcing that the ceremony had concluded. We were told to continue to relax on our mats and were welcomed to stay for as long as we needed. We could go back to our rooms before midnight or depend on how we felt we could sleep in the maloca.
I felt great after I awoke. I opted to go back to my room. When I left the Maloca, it was close to midnight. I am not sure if it was that I was still under the effects of Ayahuasca or that it indeed happened, but I witnessed the most amazing rain shower of shooting stars. I have seen a few shooting stars in my life, but nothing has come close to what I witnessed that night. The stars were huge and felt so close to me. Someone said it was because we were close to the equator, but it was one after another, shooting down, lighting the sky. I think I counted 18 of them. It was like a miracle.
At the end of each ceremony, you feel relief that you made it from hell and back. Honestly, that is the feeling you get. Especially for some people more than others. Ayahuasca was indeed a profound experience for me. I do feel fortunate that I did not see the terrifying things some people see. I did not die as many relate nor did I see demonic elements in any of my times with Ayahuasca.
I experienced fear, yes, but fear of the unknown. Once I fully emerged in the world of Ayahuasca, I had the most love-filled, blissful experience of my life. I felt a depth of completeness in my soul and compassion of who I truly am. Sadly, I lack the words to make justice to you to the degree that I possess no words in my vocabulary to adequately describe what I saw and felt.
I have to confess. However, it does not matter how your night with Ayahuasca goes. For me, it was still a difficult process. Even though my Shaman gave me low doses, it still took everything from me to do it. It is as if you have given birth without an epidural each time. Each day came and went, and I said the same thing, “I cannot go through this again.”
Each time I found enough courage to face it again.
Today as I write this blog, I smile and think, “I cannot believe I did this.” With Ayahuasca you learn to face your shadow. Ayahuasca gives you exactly what you need. In the end, you learn that you are strong. That you really can endure and that you have courage beyond your knowing.
Days later I finally returned to Toronto and often think about my experience with mother Ayahuasca, as we, affectionately call her after haven being touched by her. I was grateful for what I had seen but felt I did not come back with the answer to the question I had asked of her.
To make a long story short, Ayahuasca did not heal the relationship I was in. I have since then moved on and learned a lot about my spirituality and strength.
A year later, out of the blue, without even putting any effort into thinking, I had the biggest ‘aha’ moment.
It dawned on me that mother Ayahuasca did indeed answer my question. She gave me a glimpse of my life remember? She showed me all the love and blissful fulfillment my soul would enjoy. She showed me those who love me. But it never dawned on me why she never showed me the man I was with in any of the visions.
Ayahuasca cleverly told me that this man was nonexistent in my life and not a part of my spiritual path. That was Ayahuasca’s way of revealing to me, that this person would have no lasting impact in my life ahead. According to our Shaman, this is often the challenge for those who drink it, to understand the meaning behind the visions and how to apply what you learn in your everyday life.
My illness subsidized for some time, but resurfaces every so often and leaves again. I am still learning to heal my body and my soul through balancing my energy and emotions.
I have now committed to fully embarking on a spiritual path that I hope will take me until the end of my life in this terrestrial form.
What did my experience with Ayahuasca teach me?
Ayahuasca taught me to face my fear of dying, but more importantly, she taught me not to fear living!
Ayahuasca taught me to surrender to my fear and to release my soul to the spirits for guidance. The most beautiful thing is learning that Ayahuasca can only show you WHAT YOU HAVE INSIDE.
Ayahuasca showed me all I have in my life is love and gratitude. I could not see the meaning of it at the moment of my ceremonies. Today I understand, a year later, after much spiritual work that, I AM LOVE. I AM GRATITUDE.
Ayahuasca was the first step in my spiritual journey. The work and the healing did not happen right after taking the brew. The awareness and insights she planted in my soul, however, were the seed that inspired the beginning of a significant transformation.
I am grateful to Ayahuasca for bringing me to Peru. A country that I have now visited three times and hope to soon share with my girls.
Peru, in spite of not being my native country, has become that in my heart. I love my beautiful Peru with its ancient and colorful culture, its green pastures and magnificent snow-tipped mountains. Peru is a place where you can experience deep seeded roots and spiritual healing. If you have not yet visited it, I strongly recommend it.
I often think of Mother Ayahuasca and ask myself, “was any of it real? How do I know I was not just hallucinating?”
I remind myself that the important thing it’s not whether it was real or not. What matters are the insights I was given!
The insights from Ayahuasca have propelled me into a spiritual journey of miracles where the only sure thing for me to expect and enjoy is a wishes-fulfilled life.
With eternal gratitude to my Blue Morpho family and mother Ayahuasca.
Until we meet again….
OMG! You did it! Good for you. I am glad you have found some closure and became finally aware of how loved you have always been….