I‘ve learned that the things we think are a loss are often not. You may think so at the moment, but as things settle and you give Life the opportunity to reveal the path, you understand why things had to happen as they did. You have to make room for the new to find you. Sometimes it is necessary to let go of people even when you find it painful.
Oftentimes we assign judgment to a situation without knowing the big picture. To optimize your life for happiness, do your best to appreciate every situation – even the difficult ones. Ask yourself what’s the purpose or meaning in this situation that will help take your life to the next level?
Not every person is meant to go the distance with you. Some people are assigned shorter energetic contracts and once those contracts are realized, people have a way of moving on from your life. Once a lesson is learned, new people come into our lives to teach us, show us, hurt us or inspire us to experience the next set of lessons.
Mourning a Loss Is Not Weak
I’ve learned that it is not weak to mourn relationships that end, even when those were perceived as bad ones. Whether they are friendships, family ties or romantic ones, it is brave to allow yourself to feel the absence and the empty space they leave. But I’ve also learned that it takes even more bravery to not stay stuck in the loss and to understand that if those relationships end, it is because they no longer serve your highest and greatest good.
The next time someone walks away from you, instead of feeling devastated, wish them well and thank the Universe for the time you had with them. Thank Life for the good times and for the hurtful ones because the good ones gave you joy and the bad ones gave you lessons.
I can tell you with certainty that contracts that end with people we love are hurtful. I won’t tell you otherwise. But I can say for sure that when I look back at those people that left, better things came into my life as a result. The same can be true for you.
Not All Things that End Are “Bad”
It is also important to know that not all things that end are “bad.” I’ve had great relationships end as well, but for one reason or another, they seemed to fizzle out when their purpose for the connection had been served.
Learn to look at everything in your life not as bad or good, but as learning opportunities to either do better or be better and evolve. Sometimes we hold on to people for too long as their contract has been served and is now over. We stubbornly see their departure as a failure and as a loss.
I’ve learned that the more you delay and retain those finished contracts, the more you prolong the suffering, not just for yourself, but for the other person as well. I remember dating and loving deeply a man who was not right for me. He came into my life with a specific purpose, to be the wound-giver. Of course, neither of us knew that at the start. To make a long story short, I was head over hills as the saying goes. This blinded my ability to see that he was wrong for me on multiple levels but I pursued the relationship nonetheless.
This turned out to be the most painful, toxic and disruptive relationship of my life so far. I was hurt in the deepest and cruelest of ways a person can get hurt. Despite it all, each time this man wanted to leave, I would convince him to stay, something that cost me deeply. This experience taught me that when someone wants to go, let them, even if it hurts. What is meant for you doesn’t need convincing. What is meant for you is never threatened.
At the time of course, I could not conceive of letting him go. As bad as the relationship was, I saw it as a huge failure for me and I am the kind of person who doesn’t like losing. I fought the battles alone. I loved, invested and believed for both of us. It was an uphill journey with a very steep price.
When a contract is coming to an end, don’t resist it, otherwise it will be like expecting to get water out of a rock. Learn to not fear the end of things because ends are always followed by new beginnings and that is something to be grateful for. If you focus on what you think you are losing, you will suffer. If you are grateful for what lies ahead, you will be at peace.
In retrospect, had I not been so stubborn in holding on for a life that was not meant for me, I would have saved myself a lot of pain and grief. Years later, I’ve come to see the end of this relationship as the greatest blessing in my life. It was the Best Worst Thing that Happened to Me, hence the title of the first book I wrote!
What I saw in the moment as a great loss was a huge blessing disguised in pain. I learned so much from that relationship. That relationship cracked open my soul, led me to my life’s purpose, and taught me above all — to not fight Life.
When it’s time for people to leave your path, accept it. It is not up to you to know or understand the reasons why. But it is up to you to have faith that all things that happen, are happening for your greater good.
BE GRATEFUL for all things that end.
What is meant for you, will flow to you.
What is not meant for you, will wither away.
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